Friday, January 3, 2014


Yesterday was my fifth day of work at my new job. To be precise, my first "working for the man" job in about 3 years.  In that timespan I have worked "under the table" for a restaurant and farmers market and worked as what most people like to call a starving artist... and to some extent the starving part may have been slightly true.    All the while, my partner has been a head baker and supported me.   At times I felt terribly low for not having a "real job" but I often had to remind myself to soak in the sweetness of the temporary freedom of a job that was being granted. In all, I was grateful.   But ultimately, I knew the time would come again when I'd have to step back into the world of 8-hour shifts and coping with the personalities of coworkers and serving the needs of others.    I do enjoy the process of serving. There is something unique about the experience of communicating with a mass amount of people on a daily basis, especially when you take into consideration that it is a divine opportunity to connect with another being, many of whom do not receive many smiles or even much eye contact in their week.  So in all, I'm content with my decision to rejoin the work force and contribute to society by serving up the drug of choice, coffee, with a smile.

In all, things have been going well with my new job. The people are nice, the atmosphere is comfortable, the coffee is good, the business is local and I'm catching on quickly. The job itself hasn't presented any issues, but sometimes we have run-ins with others that don't always push the right buttons and it can make things emotionally difficult to conquer or simply accept.   
Last night was my first experience at my new job having to deal with something that got me emotionally involved, which I truly try to refrain from because I don't want to think much about work when I return home.  

Last night, as I was closing at work and cleaning, I went to the restroom to restock.   The owners wife, whom I assume is the partial owner of the business, followed me in saying that there were some things that she needed to discuss with me.  "OK, it looks like you're not wearing a bra." she says. To which I reply "I'm not."  "Ok, well you're going to have to wear one." I then replied. "I don't wear bras."   She then tells me that I will "have to start wearing bras to work."   It probably sounds like I was showing cleavage, but my dress went up to my neck. It was simply the appearance of untamed breast that jarred her. I told her OK and said that I would buy a bra.  What I thought in my mind didn't matter at that moment because I was going to treat her with kindness even if she didn't understand or agree with my personal choice.

I won't share my thoughts with her, because well, she is set in her ways and what's the point.   But I will share them here on my blog... I generally never wear a bra. If I feel like it, then I will, but it's  because it feels right at the time.  It's my personal choice.   This doesn't mean that I think all women should not wear bras, it's all about personal preference. I'm neither for it or against it and it really seems stupid in the grand scheme of things. Just the fact that I am writing about it is silly in itself, but nonetheless, this may appeal to someone and open up their mind about how they view the lifestyles of other women - which is really the goal of talking about this subject.

I feel that society has set a certain standard of how women are expected to be.  This really falls in line with just about any part of the world, women everywhere are being trapped in little cages with instructions on how to live their lives and what is tolerated and what is not..   I am not excluding men, we've created molds for everyone... but I am specifically talking about the mold that has been created for women because it seems to be one that's pressed a little harder. (This does not exclude women placing the mold on other women.) One feature of this mold is the almighty bra. What began as a miracle worker has now transformed into a staple in womens clothing. 
Don't leave home without wearing your bra, what a terrible shame that would be!
Many people are so conditioned to be accepting of the things that encompass drama and hatred yet they fear all that represents love and the natural world.

When I was a child I could watch fights, crime and murder on television or movies but when a couple french kissed, made love or there was nudity on screen then my eyes were covered and I was told not to look.  I'm not blaming my parents because that is the society that they grew up in, however, I am making a choice to change that way of thinking for future generations.  I don't see everything in black and white, everything is not either good or bad.   IT JUST IS.  A woman's breasts do not have to be good or bad, they do not have to be either sexual or disturbing, they just are. We are human beings, that is a part of our anatomy. We can embrace it or deny it, but no matter how we decide to feel about it, it is still just as much a part of us.  Can we just accept this and move on?

I choose to wear or not wear articles of clothing, because I can.  BECAUSE I'VE GRANTED MYSELF THE FREEDOM TO DO THAT.  I was taught to wear a bra and to shave my armpits. But later I learned that I can make my own decisions for myself based off of what I define to be most comfortable and pleasing for my lifestyle, and so I did.  I started marching to the beat of my own drum and rather than yelling at folks to hop in my line I tell them to grab their own drum and find their path, because that is what life is about.   If we spent all of our time conforming for others just to make other people feel comfortable and compromising for our own happiness then we'll end up old and gray wishing that we had once let our tits hang free before they were covered in wrinkles, to be quite blunt... So there you have it, DO AS YOU PLEASE. LOVE YOURSELF. BE KIND TO OTHERS, BUT DON'T CONFORM FOR THEM IF IT DOESN'T DO YOU ANY GOOD.

1 comment:

  1. <3 you keep those boobies free! i dont think its fair to tell someone what they can or cannot wear unless it was stated in a dress code they already had listed per the job! -lizette