The spirit of dance is still with me, however, the spirit of music making has slowly began to creep it's way over to the back door to make an exit. I believe that I may have captured it just in time.
My tongue drum has begun to collect dust, so much that I had to blow it all off when I picked it up last week. My djembe has become more of an item that my cat hangs out by, than one that is picked up and drummed with loving vibrations. Those beautiful pieces of carved wood and a little stretched skin were getting to be quite lonely. The vibrations of our speakers were filling the wood, rather than the vibrations of my hands and humming voice.
Sometimes you just glance at an instrument and it calls you. It sits patiently, so quietly, waiting for you to come over and fill the air with it's sounds. Sometimes those instruments can almost be intimidating. Even when no one is around, you fear of the noise that you'll create. Eventually, you realize how silly that fear is and you play the drum until your hands itch or the bones in your thumbs become sore (from the tongue).
When the drumming ceases... When you let out that last little sound and make the decision to finally set the instrument down. You feel an overwhelming sense of contentment rushing through you. You just momentarily filled the air with vibrations... Vibrations that never would have been there if it weren't for you. You experienced a sense of creativity and freedom. Something that a lot of people do not allow themselves to experience, because of their fear. Fear of judgment. Even when no one is around, people are still afraid to sing and dance and make music. No one is watching, yet they have a fear.
If you live life by the idea or belief that this may be your only one. That there is no shiny happy place to go when it's all said and done... Then, why be afraid? Why limit your freedom? Even if the people around you try to limit what you can do and say, even if the country you live and bans something that in your heart you know you would love to do. Find that private place, where you get to let your soul fly freely and do those things. No one is watching, and if they are... why should you care?